The Fall

Clearly Obscure (was Backyard Theotokos)
Originally uploaded by Aaroneous Monk.

A few years ago I learned that the bishop over my former parish where I'd first become Orthodox had been removed from his duties and put into treatment for alcoholism, among other things. I spent a lot of time walking and lost in thought that day, feeling it was sad, but not without meaning somehow.


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I read about the fall of a bishop today.
It makes me sad and prone to wander.
I took my dog to the park and let her run.

He was my first Archpastor in a new-found Faith.
He is a lonely old man with an alcohol problem.
I imagine he’s been feeling pretty small these days.

I hear a voice pick up the leaves like wind and say,
“Bless God for the coming of a fall…”

Why do I use such shoddy materials to build a life?
I indiscriminately build, pell mell, without much thought.
It is a poor strategy, short-sighted, a flim flam thing.

How long does it take for something so precarious to topple?
I need something to come and shake it daily, a test.
Otherwise its collapse becomes inevitable, a matter of time.

I hear a voice pick up the leaves like wind and say,
“Bless God for the coming of a fall…”

I think of a story of the foolish building on sand.
I think of a myth where a boulder need continually be pushed up a hill.
I think of the Golden Mouth praying for help to make a good beginning.

The Sacraments as stones and the Spirit as mortar.
My structure continually shaken without bringing despair.
The grace of God to start again, more humble, more obedient, more careful.

I hear a voice pick up the leaves like wind and say,
“Bless God for the coming of a fall…”